This I Believe In Essay
This I Believe In | |
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In my family, we value each other over anything else. My grandpa was my hero from the day I was born. He was always there when I looked back, no matter what I was doing. He was a handyman, always building something for my siblings and I. Whether it was a tree house, bunk beds, or dollhouses, he did it all. After many years of being on his feet, his back took a toll. He had seven back surgeries over the course of ten years. Each time he would heal and get back to running around with my siblings and I. The last surgery went perfectly. He had been unable to walk before it, but he walked that day after in the hospital. We all thought he were in the clear, but his health began to deteriorate quickly. There were many complications following the surgery and the doctors were unable to treat one without making the other worse. Reality began to set in that this time, he may not heal as quickly as he usually did. I sat in that hospital room for days straight. I laid on the edge of his bed and held his hand. I cried, begged, and prayed for some kind of miracle. He continued to slip further away from me and this earth. I held onto his hand tighter. We decided to bring him home so he could spend his last moments in the house he built and created his life in.
I knew he was getting tired. I selfishly begged him to stay because I was not ready to take on this life without him. I realized this was not fair of me to ask. Before we left to prepare his home for his arrival, I squeezed his hand and told him he could let go if he needed to. He whispered, “I love you”. I kissed him and walked out of the room and went to his house. My older brother stayed with him. We spent that night waiting for his arrival surrounded by the piano in his living room. All the family was there, laughing and sharing stories about him. My cousins began to sing and the words in the song said, “If you love me, let me go”. Everyone in that room got chills. Time stood still. As the music faded and the song came to a stop, we all heard the ringing of the phone. It was my brother. We all knew the words we were about to hear. He hadn’t made it home. My brother had held onto his hand until the very end. I found in this time I clung to my family more than ever. I held onto them as tight as I could.
I believe in knowing when to let go and when to hold on. If it were up to me, I would’ve held on forever. I’ve learned that you need to place yourself in the shoes of others and let go when it is the best for them. I found that when you need to let go, you find peace in holding onto others. This not only applies to letting people go, but also letting fears and emotions go. At some point, it is necessary to just let the past go and simply hold onto the love and memories. Life is hard. Everyone will be faced with the decision of holding on or letting go at least once in their life. You need to listen to your heart, and listen to what you believe is right.
I knew he was getting tired. I selfishly begged him to stay because I was not ready to take on this life without him. I realized this was not fair of me to ask. Before we left to prepare his home for his arrival, I squeezed his hand and told him he could let go if he needed to. He whispered, “I love you”. I kissed him and walked out of the room and went to his house. My older brother stayed with him. We spent that night waiting for his arrival surrounded by the piano in his living room. All the family was there, laughing and sharing stories about him. My cousins began to sing and the words in the song said, “If you love me, let me go”. Everyone in that room got chills. Time stood still. As the music faded and the song came to a stop, we all heard the ringing of the phone. It was my brother. We all knew the words we were about to hear. He hadn’t made it home. My brother had held onto his hand until the very end. I found in this time I clung to my family more than ever. I held onto them as tight as I could.
I believe in knowing when to let go and when to hold on. If it were up to me, I would’ve held on forever. I’ve learned that you need to place yourself in the shoes of others and let go when it is the best for them. I found that when you need to let go, you find peace in holding onto others. This not only applies to letting people go, but also letting fears and emotions go. At some point, it is necessary to just let the past go and simply hold onto the love and memories. Life is hard. Everyone will be faced with the decision of holding on or letting go at least once in their life. You need to listen to your heart, and listen to what you believe is right.
Short Story
The Wave
I closed my eyes and drifted off. I felt the warm sun beams against my skin and my feet wiggled their way beneath the hot sand. I laid beside my best friend and now husband, Mike. Our wedding had been just a few days before, and after all the stress, we came here to relax. It was exactly what we needed. It is our third day here, and we had simply laid on the beach our entire time here. It is perfectly peaceful. The warm sun, white sand, clear water, and sounds of the birds made me feel like there was nothing wrong in the world. All my stress washed away with each cascading wave that fell onto the shore.
Slipping away to a nap, I was awoken by my husband. “Wanna take a dip in the pool? I’m gonna have a heat stroke over here.” I felt the cool breeze of the salty air, but it hardly made an impact on the heat of the mid-September sun. Being on a beach was my favorite thing in the world, but I simply hate getting in the ocean. The idea that there are unknown creatures swimming among me freaked me out. A pool was much more in my zone of interest. “Of course,” I announced. “It is getting hot out.”
I hop up out of the beach chair and grab Mike’s hand. “I’ve never been more happy,” I whisper to him. The path to the pool is made out of old wood planks that have now rotted into a state of holes and splinters, half covered beneath the sand. We finally get to the pool and Mike jumps right in. I prefer to sit on the edge and ease my way in. I dip my feet in the water and watch Mike swim laps around, his body cutting effortly through the blue water. An unnerving silence seems to creep in. The sounds of the seagulls chirping fade and the sounds of the waves become increasingly distant. I stood up to shake the water droplets from my tan legs and turn to face the ocean. When I looked out at the blue unknown, the water was still. It has appeared to have receded back further into the deep ocean, but perhaps it was my mind playing tricks on me. The water looks really far back, but it is probably just the way it looks from up here.
I sit back down and place my feet into the water. I am known to be a worrier. Every little thing makes me think of the worst possible result. I notice my heart is thumping, as if it were beating out of my chest. I decide to get out of the water and look towards the beach once more. My heart drops. A towering wave, consuming every obstacle in its path, is heading towards us. The top of the wave is frothing with white bubbles. What was previously crystal, clear water is now a deadly concoction of brown, mixed with debris and sand. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I try to run, but my legs will not move. I now know I should not have worried about what was in the water, but what the water itself could do.
The next thing I know, I am being thrashed around under water. Everything is dark. I don't know which way is up. “Is this it?,” I think to myself. I am going to die. I feel my body being slammed into debris. I cannot even tell what I am hitting. All I know is that it is hard. I hit something just now. I’m stuck against it with the water flowing towards me. I pull myself towards the faint sun. I hit the surface. I almost choke as I take the deepest breath I ever have. I clutch to this tree with all my strength. I find myself to be all alone. Where is Mike?
It has been a long time since I’ve been stuck to this tree. I would guess a couple hours, but I have no sense of time. I have managed to climb up a little and sit on a limb. I scream for help, but all I hear is my own echos. I feel that same ocean breeze as earlier, but this time I chills me to my bone. My situation now is much different than earlier. I am cold, wet, hungry, and alone. Mike. I wonder where he is. I hope he is okay. I scream for help once again but there is no response. I’m tired. I cannot keep going. I wonder if it is worth it to hold on. If Mike is gone, I want to be gone too. I think back to this morning on the beach; Our fingers interlaced, love pouring out for each other with every inch of our beings. So much has changed in just a couple of hours. I close my eyes and cry.
I suddenly hear a man calling out to me. “Hey! You on the tree!” He spoke with an accent. He must be a local, I thought to myself. “I’m here,” I called back with a sigh of relief in my voice. He’s in a boat. The boat is made of faded wood, similar to the one on the walkway from the beach, but it is still a boat nonetheless. He reaches out his paddle and I pull on it. I climb into the boat and for the first time since the wave hit, I can truly breathe. I’m safe. “My name is Josh,” the man says. “Kate,” I respond, “I need to find my husband.” A hot tear slips down my cheek.
We paddle for what seems like an eternity. I found out that Josh was a policeman before he retired last Summer. He was going around on his boat trying to rescue people. Everything was destroyed around us. This paradise had turned into something unrecognizable. Alas, I see other people. There is a hospital ahead. I look down at myself. I had been so busy worrying about Mike that I didn’t realize how injured I was myself. I had multiple cuts and bruises all over my body. The hospital area was packed with people. “Do you think my husband would be here?,” I asked Josh. “It can’t hurt to check,” said Josh. We inched closer and I bowed my head down to pray. I can’t lose my husband.
I hear a man yelling at us from the hospital. “We’ve reached our max number of patients here. You’ll have to go to to the other one we have set up. It’s about a mile down to your right.” No. I need to see if he’s in there. I scream back. “I need to go in here. My husband is missing.” They won’t let me in. “We are not allowing anyone else to enter at this time. We have too many people in here as it is.” The silent tears begin again as we paddle right past the hospital.
We arrive at the second hospital after paddling through the nothingness for the last fifteen minutes. I jump out of the boat, into the knee deep water and run inside. I am stopped by a nurse. “You need to check in ma’am,” she announces to me. She seems as exhausted as I was the days leading up to my wedding. I can hear it in her voice. “I am fine. I just need my husband,” I tell her. “You are hurt. You need medical attention,” she tells me. I try to walk away, but she grabs me. “Please,” she pleads with me. “I know you are worried, but you need to take care of yourself.” I give in. If Mike is here, he won’t be going anywhere. I say goodbye to Josh as he leaves to find more people to help. I follow this lady back to a room. It’s not a regular hospital room. It looks like a meeting room that they put a bunch of beds in. There are so many people in here. I’ll never find Mike. They are telling me to lay down and try to rest. How am I supposed to rest when the most important person in my life is missing? I lay there crying until the exhaustion forces me into a deep sleep.
I don’t know how long I slept for, but it’s dark outside now. I feel so alone. I need to find Mike. I need to. I need him. I pull myself out of bed and start walking. I don’t know where I’m going, but I am going to find Mike. My bare feet hit against the cold tile floor. I see a nurse not too far ahead of me. “Hey! Do you have the check in list? I really need to find my husband,” I announce across the hall. She walks over. “You’ll have to check upstairs. All our paperwork is being handled there,” She states with a sympathy in her voice. I don’t even stop to respond. My legs are moving before I can think. I run up the stairs. The line at the desk is long. I look around. There are people of all races and ages, yet everyone has the same look on their face. Fear. I wait and hold onto the hope that he is looking for me too.
After what feels like hours of waiting, I finally make it to the desk. “Who are you looking for,” the lady working as the receptionist asks. “Mike Conway. My Husband,” I respond. She flips through the check in papers. There are so many of them. She starts to flip through them again. Maybe she missed his name, I thought. She stops halfway through her second check. “Your husband was checked in a couple hours ago. He should be upstairs in room B617.” Thank you would not have cut it. The joy I was feeling was incomparable to anything I’d ever felt before. I bolt up the stairs. I see the room number. The numbers B617 jumped at me. I traced my fingers along the braille as I walked into the room. I walk over to the bed. It’s him. He is almost unrecognizable under all the bruises and bandages. I watch his chest rise and wrap his fingers in mine. At this moment, I needed nothing else in the world. I felt a wave of emotions, stronger than the actual wave that destroyed everything around us. It was us against the world, and this time, we had won.
I closed my eyes and drifted off. I felt the warm sun beams against my skin and my feet wiggled their way beneath the hot sand. I laid beside my best friend and now husband, Mike. Our wedding had been just a few days before, and after all the stress, we came here to relax. It was exactly what we needed. It is our third day here, and we had simply laid on the beach our entire time here. It is perfectly peaceful. The warm sun, white sand, clear water, and sounds of the birds made me feel like there was nothing wrong in the world. All my stress washed away with each cascading wave that fell onto the shore.
Slipping away to a nap, I was awoken by my husband. “Wanna take a dip in the pool? I’m gonna have a heat stroke over here.” I felt the cool breeze of the salty air, but it hardly made an impact on the heat of the mid-September sun. Being on a beach was my favorite thing in the world, but I simply hate getting in the ocean. The idea that there are unknown creatures swimming among me freaked me out. A pool was much more in my zone of interest. “Of course,” I announced. “It is getting hot out.”
I hop up out of the beach chair and grab Mike’s hand. “I’ve never been more happy,” I whisper to him. The path to the pool is made out of old wood planks that have now rotted into a state of holes and splinters, half covered beneath the sand. We finally get to the pool and Mike jumps right in. I prefer to sit on the edge and ease my way in. I dip my feet in the water and watch Mike swim laps around, his body cutting effortly through the blue water. An unnerving silence seems to creep in. The sounds of the seagulls chirping fade and the sounds of the waves become increasingly distant. I stood up to shake the water droplets from my tan legs and turn to face the ocean. When I looked out at the blue unknown, the water was still. It has appeared to have receded back further into the deep ocean, but perhaps it was my mind playing tricks on me. The water looks really far back, but it is probably just the way it looks from up here.
I sit back down and place my feet into the water. I am known to be a worrier. Every little thing makes me think of the worst possible result. I notice my heart is thumping, as if it were beating out of my chest. I decide to get out of the water and look towards the beach once more. My heart drops. A towering wave, consuming every obstacle in its path, is heading towards us. The top of the wave is frothing with white bubbles. What was previously crystal, clear water is now a deadly concoction of brown, mixed with debris and sand. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I try to run, but my legs will not move. I now know I should not have worried about what was in the water, but what the water itself could do.
The next thing I know, I am being thrashed around under water. Everything is dark. I don't know which way is up. “Is this it?,” I think to myself. I am going to die. I feel my body being slammed into debris. I cannot even tell what I am hitting. All I know is that it is hard. I hit something just now. I’m stuck against it with the water flowing towards me. I pull myself towards the faint sun. I hit the surface. I almost choke as I take the deepest breath I ever have. I clutch to this tree with all my strength. I find myself to be all alone. Where is Mike?
It has been a long time since I’ve been stuck to this tree. I would guess a couple hours, but I have no sense of time. I have managed to climb up a little and sit on a limb. I scream for help, but all I hear is my own echos. I feel that same ocean breeze as earlier, but this time I chills me to my bone. My situation now is much different than earlier. I am cold, wet, hungry, and alone. Mike. I wonder where he is. I hope he is okay. I scream for help once again but there is no response. I’m tired. I cannot keep going. I wonder if it is worth it to hold on. If Mike is gone, I want to be gone too. I think back to this morning on the beach; Our fingers interlaced, love pouring out for each other with every inch of our beings. So much has changed in just a couple of hours. I close my eyes and cry.
I suddenly hear a man calling out to me. “Hey! You on the tree!” He spoke with an accent. He must be a local, I thought to myself. “I’m here,” I called back with a sigh of relief in my voice. He’s in a boat. The boat is made of faded wood, similar to the one on the walkway from the beach, but it is still a boat nonetheless. He reaches out his paddle and I pull on it. I climb into the boat and for the first time since the wave hit, I can truly breathe. I’m safe. “My name is Josh,” the man says. “Kate,” I respond, “I need to find my husband.” A hot tear slips down my cheek.
We paddle for what seems like an eternity. I found out that Josh was a policeman before he retired last Summer. He was going around on his boat trying to rescue people. Everything was destroyed around us. This paradise had turned into something unrecognizable. Alas, I see other people. There is a hospital ahead. I look down at myself. I had been so busy worrying about Mike that I didn’t realize how injured I was myself. I had multiple cuts and bruises all over my body. The hospital area was packed with people. “Do you think my husband would be here?,” I asked Josh. “It can’t hurt to check,” said Josh. We inched closer and I bowed my head down to pray. I can’t lose my husband.
I hear a man yelling at us from the hospital. “We’ve reached our max number of patients here. You’ll have to go to to the other one we have set up. It’s about a mile down to your right.” No. I need to see if he’s in there. I scream back. “I need to go in here. My husband is missing.” They won’t let me in. “We are not allowing anyone else to enter at this time. We have too many people in here as it is.” The silent tears begin again as we paddle right past the hospital.
We arrive at the second hospital after paddling through the nothingness for the last fifteen minutes. I jump out of the boat, into the knee deep water and run inside. I am stopped by a nurse. “You need to check in ma’am,” she announces to me. She seems as exhausted as I was the days leading up to my wedding. I can hear it in her voice. “I am fine. I just need my husband,” I tell her. “You are hurt. You need medical attention,” she tells me. I try to walk away, but she grabs me. “Please,” she pleads with me. “I know you are worried, but you need to take care of yourself.” I give in. If Mike is here, he won’t be going anywhere. I say goodbye to Josh as he leaves to find more people to help. I follow this lady back to a room. It’s not a regular hospital room. It looks like a meeting room that they put a bunch of beds in. There are so many people in here. I’ll never find Mike. They are telling me to lay down and try to rest. How am I supposed to rest when the most important person in my life is missing? I lay there crying until the exhaustion forces me into a deep sleep.
I don’t know how long I slept for, but it’s dark outside now. I feel so alone. I need to find Mike. I need to. I need him. I pull myself out of bed and start walking. I don’t know where I’m going, but I am going to find Mike. My bare feet hit against the cold tile floor. I see a nurse not too far ahead of me. “Hey! Do you have the check in list? I really need to find my husband,” I announce across the hall. She walks over. “You’ll have to check upstairs. All our paperwork is being handled there,” She states with a sympathy in her voice. I don’t even stop to respond. My legs are moving before I can think. I run up the stairs. The line at the desk is long. I look around. There are people of all races and ages, yet everyone has the same look on their face. Fear. I wait and hold onto the hope that he is looking for me too.
After what feels like hours of waiting, I finally make it to the desk. “Who are you looking for,” the lady working as the receptionist asks. “Mike Conway. My Husband,” I respond. She flips through the check in papers. There are so many of them. She starts to flip through them again. Maybe she missed his name, I thought. She stops halfway through her second check. “Your husband was checked in a couple hours ago. He should be upstairs in room B617.” Thank you would not have cut it. The joy I was feeling was incomparable to anything I’d ever felt before. I bolt up the stairs. I see the room number. The numbers B617 jumped at me. I traced my fingers along the braille as I walked into the room. I walk over to the bed. It’s him. He is almost unrecognizable under all the bruises and bandages. I watch his chest rise and wrap his fingers in mine. At this moment, I needed nothing else in the world. I felt a wave of emotions, stronger than the actual wave that destroyed everything around us. It was us against the world, and this time, we had won.